and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Boobs speak an international language.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
