What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
