8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i barfeds in our rink
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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