can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
