Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
