my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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