Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
operation harelip BJ is a go
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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