So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
