even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize