you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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