Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Randomize
