Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
