I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
