great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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