Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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