Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
