Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
