hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
