Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
