Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think your dad took our porno
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Damn victory sex feels great
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
