Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dick very happy bro
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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