one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
