Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
