if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
