It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
How external is "for external use only"?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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