i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
