Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
