I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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