Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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