I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
