So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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