No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize