I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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