Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
