I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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