I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
