He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize