Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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