White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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