the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
