so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Randomize
