some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize