I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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