Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
