I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
