as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
