Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
