Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
