I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
