I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
