BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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