Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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