you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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