Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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