my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
