Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
