the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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