You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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