I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
