How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
