Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
