I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
