i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize