Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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