At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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