the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
