I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
