You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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