its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
A+ Viking dick
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