So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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